The Great Parenting Debate: Why Kids Need to Stay Busy (And How We Balance the Grind)

If you’ve spent any time on social media lately, you’ve probably seen the push for “slow parenting”—the idea of clearing the calendar, dropping the extracurriculars, and letting kids just be bored.

In our latest Full Life Crew episode, Deb and I sat down to hash this out, and honestly, we came at it from two different angles. With 26 years of marriage and 8 kids, we’ve learned how to navigate these disagreements, but finding the sweet spot between a strong work ethic and childhood burnout is one of the toughest challenges for any family.

The Pro-Busy Mindset: Building Grit

I’ll shoot straight: I am unapologetically "pro-busy." Between coaching baseball and football, running the indoor facility, and bringing the kids onto the Tikiz truck for a shift, I believe a full schedule is a training ground for life.

Keeping kids engaged teaches them accountability, time management, and resilience. When they have to balance homework with turf time or show up for their team even when they’re tired, they are building the mindset they need for the real world. In my eyes, an active kid is a growing kid. We aren't pushing them to be perfect; we are pushing them to learn how to work hard.

The Voice of Reason: Finding the Middle Ground

Deb, on the other hand, brings the necessary reality check. She’s not against hard work—you don’t raise 8 kids without knowing how to hustle—but she is highly protective of our family’s threshold.

During the episode, Deb made the great point that there is a massive difference between "productive busy" and "toxic busy." She acts as the barometer for the house, watching for those tell-tale signs that a kid is running on empty. If we are just signing them up for things out of the fear of missing out, or if the schedule is actively hurting their mental health or our family connection, that’s when we’ve crossed the line.

Our Compromise: Strategic Rest

So, how do we make it work without completely burning out? The answer isn't to stop being busy; the answer is to be highly intentional about our rest. You can push the throttle during the week and throughout the sports seasons, but you must have built-in brake pads. Here is how we balance the Full Life hustle:

• Protect the Holidays: When a holiday hits, the business and the sports pause. We use those blocks of time to completely unplug, put the schedules away, and just focus on each other.
• Sacred Weekends: When we actually get a weekend off from tournaments and leagues, we fiercely protect it. That downtime is mandatory for the kids to recharge, sleep in, and be entirely unstructured.
• Quality over Quantity: We want our kids busy with things that actually move the needle on their character or skills, not just busy work to fill the hours.

You don't have to choose between raising a hard worker and raising a happy kid. You just need to know when to push the pace and when to throw the calendar out the window.

Click here to watch the full debate on YouTube and let us know in the comments: Are you Team Jareth (Keep 'em busy) or Team Deb (Find the middle ground)? We want to hear how your family handles the schedule!